On feeling...Homeless

Today marks the first full day I’ve been back in MI after my visit to Brooklyn. I can’t really seem to put into words how I’m feeling. Homeless is the only term that comes to mind. It feels weird to be in Michigan. I am still missing my other half. New York is not yet my home, and still, I’m drawn to it. My brains are filled with visions of tree-lined streets, brownstones, and choices of eats and shops beyond my wildest dreams. Instead, my eyes are seeing expressways and cars and cornfields, a lonely shell of a house, and a half-empty office still filled with work to be done. I think essentially, that I am ready to move on. I’m anxious about not having a “career” lined up. I’m nervous about starting over in a new city without any of my beloved friends. But this in-between stage is a real buzz kill. The sitting and waiting and not knowing and urge to pack without the desire to are getting to me. Being a lady who’s particularly fond of a good plan, the decided lack of one in this case has finally rattled me. So until a transition plan develops, I’m going to try my best to just “be.” To think, to observe, to enjoy what remains. It’s not an easy task.